


Deadroses

by dontmindme_imafangirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Feels, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance P.O.V, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Possibly Unrequited Love, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), if you need anything else tagged lmk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 07:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontmindme_imafangirl/pseuds/dontmindme_imafangirl
Summary: I know we’re not in love,Love is vivid,No we’re not in love,You fall right in it for a week a month or maybe just a minute or a lifetime,What’s the difference big bang or collision love is blindLance knows there'ssomethinghappening between him and Keith, he notices it with each side glance Keith gives him, with each thud of his heart at the sight of violet eyes and soft reserved smiles.There's something there.He's just not so sure if it's love or scorn.(Tumblr Sentence Prompt: “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.” Lance to Keith)





	Deadroses

Lance was many things.  
Tall, yeah, by some standards. Lanky too if you asked Hunk, and a total flirt if you asked Pidge. In his mind he’d describe himself as a ruggedly handsome funny guy.

But he was no fool.

Ever since he first locked gazes with a certain raven haired boy with electric eyes, since the first moment he felt that jolt run through his spine, a tint of excitement and interest that soon turned to something more tangible, soft at a glance and rough to the touch as the feeling developed in his chest, with each passing remark and conversation with the boy-

-he soon realised the feelings Keith harboured.

He realised how much Keith hates him.

It was no surprise-Lance had been butting heads with the guy ever since they were back at the garrison, before the looming threat of an intergalactic war that could annihilate entire species lay on their shoulders and forced them to become closer.

Lance felt that thorn-filled sentiment in his body swell the more time he spent with Keith.  
It took some time, and more effort than he’d like to admit, and a lot of self-reflection before he could admit what this feeling was-before he could accept it as _love_.

It’s not that he didn’t realise it before; Lance had _eyes_ thank you very much, eyes that can appreciate when a drop-dead gorgeous person stands right in front of him, with all their broodiness and soft scowls and rough knuckles peeking over leather-gloved hands.

It’s just that..he never expected that he’d get _feelings_ , real ones that bloomed like roses in his lungs, beautiful as they grew but choking him with their petals.

He felt the thorns the first time he caught Keith staring at him from the corner of his eye.

They were just done with a debriefing Allura guided them through, all tired yet trying to focus, when he felt a piercing gaze on his neck.

A slow shift of his eyes pointed to the culprit.  
_Keith_.

The boy was looking at Lance with what Lance could only describe as _scorn_ , a type of intensity that made Lance feel the need to cower, twisting his gut and constricting his throat.

No, no, what-what was this? They’d become friends hadn’t they? Keith was just laughing at Lance’s joke a minute ago! Like, genially laughing, toothy grin and clenching his sides and all (and no, Lance wasn’t afraid of admitting that the sound of Keith’s laughter was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever had the pleasure of hearing).

There couldn’t be malice in Keith’s gaze, could there..?

He shook the thought off, but the feeling remained, suspicion pooling around the roses in his chest.

******

The more time passed, the more the stares became. 

During training, during mealtimes, he’d feel that cold hard stare so _often_ it made him self-conscious. Was there something wrong with him? Had he done something to hurt Keith? He must’ve, there’s no way that those harsh gazes were unintentional-and there’s no way Keith hated him without reason, there must’ve been something, something Lance has done or said or-

It was driving him crazy, the guilt and suspicion, the anxiety over what he did _wrong_ , what he did to deserve this treatment.

It turned into silent tears in the middle of the night, counting all his flaws in one hand, then the other, then realising he didn’t have enough fingers to count every single flaw.

It turned into a quietness so unreckoned of him, his smiles shaky and straight gait shaking, a hailstorm swirling in his mind and destroying every ounce of the little amount of self-confidence that he had, tracing and calculating every single word that left his mouth, lest it also become a reason for another stare or scowl, lest it lead to the rest of the team hating him and all he is; it hurt.

Doubting yourself to the point of self-destruction hurt, and Lance wasn’t sure how much longer he could pull himself through it.

*****

He faltered during training, receiving a jab to the ribs from the training bot that had him tumbling down with a groan, his Bayard nearly slipping from his hand.

Lance balanced himself on the floor in the last minute, turning to the training bot with gritted teeth and pushing down the trigger of his bayard, shooting at the robot straight to the head, causing it to explode with little jolts of electricity.

There was a silence washing over the training room, something Lance found odd-weren’t everyone else also practicing just now?

He turned his head up, noticing six pairs of heads peering at him, some with slack mouths or raised eyebrows.

Why? Did he do something wrong? Why were they staring?!

“Ugh, Lance?” Pidge started, and as if on cue, the silence broke, Hunk shouting his name and running towards him, Shiro barking orders with a shaky voice.

Hunk’s fingers found their way to his sides, hovering over him with a panicked expression that Lance furrowed his brows at.

“Dude. Hunk. _Hunk_ “ he tried again when Hunk wouldn’t look him in the eye, gaze focused on his torso. “ _Hunk_ , dude I’m fine!”

Hunk looked up at that, locking eyes with Lance.

“Your armour-it’s-it’s-“

Lance looked down at that, eyes widening at the sight. 

The side of his armour where the robot had hit him was shattered, the lining of his suit underneath exposed in a sort of tragic reveal.

“Does it hurt?! Are you alright?”

It was a new voice, he reckoned and looked up from the injury, noticing Shiro’s frown above him.

“Ah-yeah just, it’ll probably hurt tomorow” he grinned with a shrug, wincing at the slight tinge of pain he felt at the movement.

Shiro’s frown didn’t leave his face, only further intensified at the wince.

“I’ll take him to the infirmary. A healing pod probably won’t be necessary, but some cold compresses and rest would do him good” Shiro said, turning to Allura who nodded in response.

Shiro kneeled by Lance’s side, bringing one arm around Lance’s shoulders to help him stand, before a voice interrupted him.

“Wait-I’ll carry him there.”

Lance turned to the voice, eyes wide.

Keith stood there, hands balled into fists as he walked towards them across the training deck.

Lance’s mind turned to auto-flight, a thousand thoughts appearing and disappearing, chest constricting in what he was certain was not caused by the injury.

“No it’s-it’s fine I can take myself there it’s-“

He managed to say no more before Keith was right _there_ , leaning down and gingerly tugging Lance up, one arm around his waist beneath his injured ribs, the other bringing Lance’s arm around Keith’s neck and holding onto his wrist.

“What are you saying? You shouldn’t move too much. It’s not that bad but still, you shouldn’t aggravate it. Come on.”

With that Keith turned, slowly but steadily moving towards the infirmary with Lance.

******

“There”

Keith patted Lance’s hurt side with a wet cloth, the cold awkwardly comfortable on Lance’s ribs.

Throughout the entire walk to the infirmary Lance could feel the pumping of his heart through his ears, the anxiety gnawing at his throat and making his breaths hitch and hyperventilate.

Keith seemed to notice at one point, turning with furrowed brows to Lance and asking if he’s alright, but Lance said nothing but a quiet “Let’s get a move on”, bringing his foot forward and eyes looking straight ahead, ignoring the warmth of the boy next to him.

“Thanks” he mustered, bringing his hand to hold the compress in place, accidentally tracing Keith’s fingers as he moved his hand away.

They both lingered there for a moment, looking down at their hands, before Keith promptly pulled his back with a jolt, as if the touch was danger to his being, the roses in Lance’s chest withering at the rejection.

It was quiet between them for a while, Lance so lost in thought he never noticed Keith’s gaze until a minute too late, turning to face Keith and just noticing him averting his gaze, opting instead to fiddle with the bandage in his hands.

Was it that bad? Was being in the same room as Lance this horrible for Keith that he couldn’t even hold Lance’s gaze for a second?

“You’ll probably have a big bruise tomorro-“  
“I know you hate me but-“

They both spoke and stopped at the same time, looking at one another with wide eyes.

Lance didn’t mean to say that, he really didn’t, but there were feelings pulling inside him, spilling out through his lips, through his eyes that were slowly hazing with the threat of tears, and it was all too _much_ this feeling was too much and it _hurt_.

“You-what did you just say?” Keith tried out the words carefully, taking a step closer to the bed Lance was sitting on, the bandage loosening in his grip.

“I-I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking. You keep glaring at me for the last what, two months?” Lance turned to Keith, tears freely falling by now, “I know you take me for an idiot, but I’m _not_ , I can tell when someone hates me.”

Keith’s mouth opened and closed multiple times yet said nothing, before he brought a hand to his face, covering his mouth and lowering his head.

Lance thought he was crying at first-his shoulders shaking and breath hitching.

“Keith..?” He whispered, before hearing the soft huffs from Keith-wait, was he _giggling_?!

“Are you serious?! You’re _laughing_?!” He gasped.

Keith laughed a few more before turning to Lance with half-shut eyes, smile still on his place.

“I’m-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry it’s a nervous thing I just-give me a sec”  
Keith calmed himself down with a deep breath, the tinges of a smile still evident in the sides of his mouth, unlike any expression Lance had ever seen from the boy.

“I-Lance I don’t hate you. Why would you think that?”

All the words in the English vocabulary seemed to abandon Lance at that moment. So did the Spanish one while he was at it. Hell, there was no language to use to comprehend what he’d just heard.

“Wait you-you were _glaring_ at me on the daily, cut the crap and tell it to my face if you hate me Kogane-“  
“I _don’t_! I like you!”

A short silence. The compress slipped from Lance’s fingers, at the same time the bandage in Keith’s hand rolled away and fell to the floor.

“I..I kinda thought you were pretty at first and then the more I got to know you I realised I liked you. I didn’t mean to stare…” Keith shrugged, turning his entire face away from Lance, not catching sight of the contour of Lance’s expression.

“You don’t…?” Lance breathed, a fresh batch of tears pooling in his eyes.

“I don’t-“ Keith turned back to him, back straightening at the sight he met, “Wait why are you crying _now_?! If you don’t like me back it’s fine just-“

“No I like you. I _like you_.”

His voice was soft, everything around him feeling too much and not enough at once, the heel of his palms digging at his eyes to will the tears to stop but to no avail.

“I thought you hated me..that I did something wrong or said something or..”

Keith sighed, a soft smile toying on his lips as he moved to sit by Lance’s side, bringing his hands up to rest atop Lance’s.

“Look at me. Please? I need to tell you this face-to-face. Looking at each other.”

Lance complied, letting Keith guide their hands down and onto Lance’s lap.

Lance looked to Keith, _really_ looked at him, the bioflorencent light of the infirmary hall doing nothing to dull the soft features of the boy sitting across him; if anything, the light further accented them, and the soft glow of Keith’s eyes, the slope of his nose and the curve of his lips.

“I _don’t_ hate you Lance. I could never bring myself to, even during our play pretend ‘rivalry’. I like you.”

Lance nodded, at loss of words.

“You could-“ Keith started, the tips of his ears reddening as well as his nose, “you could say it back now. Perfect timing or whatever.”

Keith was _flustered_. He was flustered over _Lance._

There was a sudden loss of inhibitions, that’s the only way Lance could describe it, as he gently knocked his forehead with Keith’s, looking towards the boy with a smile he hadn’t worn in a while.

No one spoke for a minute, Keith’s hands coming up to cup Lance’s cheeks, Lance brining himself as close to Keith as he could before their lips met and they were kissing, a soft quick thing that left the sweetest taste on Lance’s lips, the hasty promise of ‘there’s more to come where that came from’.

“We were all so worried,” Keith whispered after a while, the warm breath meeting Lance’s face, foreheads still touching, hands still on Lance’s face, “we figured there was something wrong. You wouldn’t talk as much, you smiled less, you seemed so /anxious/-and now I realise it was because you thought you did something wrong? That I..hated you?”

Lance said nothing, the silence in itself an answer.  
The hurt on Keith’s face hurt to watch.

“It’s in the past. It’s gone. I should’ve communicated more in the first place.” Lance sighed, letting his eyes fall shut, the comfort of Keith’s touch soothing. “I don’t have half the confidence I pretend to have, so it..hurt more than I could admit. I’m also at fault.”

Keith kissed him again, moving to kiss the trails of tears on his cheeks, his forehead, the tip of his nose.

“No more of that. We’re a team. Both you and me, and us with everyone else. You feel something, /anything/, you discuss it with us.”

Lance snorted. “What, am I getting a lecture from the King of Bottling things up?” He grinned, loving the teasing look in Keith’s eyes.

“I’m working on it too, you know that. It’s hard. Expressing feelings…is hard.”

Lance hummed, scooping back in for a soft kiss before leaning back out, Keith’s face reddening by the minute.  
“But it’s worth it when we express them, isn’t it?”

Keith nodded. 

“We’ll work on it, together.” 

Lance nodded back, bringing his fingers to interlace with Keith’s.

“Together”, he agreed.

The smile on Keith’s face at that brought the withered roses in his chest to life, their scent no longer constricting, their petals no longer choking him.

Lance would be okay.  
They both would be.

******

**Author's Note:**

> A fic posted yesterday and one today? After a while of radio silence? What is happening lol  
> Also pls tell me I'm not the only one who kinda laughs when they're really nervous? idk I thought it'd be cute if Keith had this habit of laughing a bit when he's feeling really awkward ;u;  
> Sorry for the fic spam, I got this prompt yesterday by an awesome friend and well, that phrase + binge-listening to Real Friends at the time, made this angst-to-fluff thing, hahah ^^
> 
> The title's from Blackbears' song Deadroses, and so are the lyrics in the summary! 
> 
> As always, kudos/comments are very much appreciated <3
> 
> If you'd like to send me a prompt, talk about how the moon is definitely gay and dating the sun, or just y'know, about Voltron and stuff, go ahead and shoot me a message on my Tumblr: dontmindme-imafangirl <3


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